Another one of those days... When I am feeling like a lost puppy in the big bad world.
Life's inconsistencies and my indecisiveness are taking a toll and I need to sit and think about a lot of things and rearrange my thoughts.
But, sadly, my heart will not let me do it. I am too scared to open up my mind and let myself think, lest it makes me take some decision which my heart will not agree upon. Am I scared to face life and its various realities? I don't want to believe that, because I think I am prepared for whatever, WHATEVER damn situation I am going to face.
But then, is that true? Am I really prepared for what I might face? It's easy to console oneself that life has innumerable challenges and that we must and will take it as it comes ... On facing it actually, pop goes my so called determination and there I go, getting weak in my knees and refusing to believe that well, that's that. That's how it is and will be.
By the way, it actually feels better when thoughts come out clear on paper. Feels lighter and well, maybe now I can rearrange my thoughts afterall, and life's uncertainties are not as difficult as they seemed a few seconds back!!
This blog is all about ...
- Aparna
- Any idea/thought travelling through my mind, strong enough to make me sit and write all about it... Also food, my cooking, and any new foodie joints that is worth writing about.
3 comments:
i use the paper, whiteboard, blog, MSWord, MS Excel, as thinking space too! As you just said, you feel a lot lighter at the end of it!
@athena: Hey thanks. It was just one of those days you know. I am feeling better (especially after your hug :) ) And I'll remember to email you if I go through one of these things again :)
@sleepyface: Yes - the thoughts within your head seem really jumbled up - helps a ton when out in the open. :)
The last paragarph with respect to the previous ones is a clear instance of the uncertainities. See the difference.
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